She sleeps

I walk alone along this dark lonely path.

The wind surrounding me, chilling to my bone.

Leaves crackle under my feet.

Moonlight shining the way for where I’ll go.

I stop thinking for a while, stop worrying about what I’m supposed to do.

The world expects so much from me that I’m always failing at something.

I feel the nagging of everyone at my shoulders,

The weight of so much upon my back as I walk.

I’m hunched over trying to withstand it all, but no one can tell.

There’s nothing around but the trees and the silence.

They are the only ones who see me for who I am.

I find myself running after a while to escape the world within me.

I hear their voices in my head, in my heart, breaking me with every step I take.

I’m the strong one right, I can take it all.

I’m not supposed to feel, supposed to hurt, supposed to ache.

That’s everyone else’s right, their entitlements.

I’m supposed to be the rock, be the warrior, be the glue.

I’m not allowed to break, to crack, to falter.

I’m not allowed to frown, to cry, to panic.

But among the trees, alone in this dark cold place

I am me.  I can be that person.  I can be pieces of a whole.

I can crack, I can break, I can falter, I can cry.

I can feel, I can be, I can want, I can need.

And when the day breaks again, I’m back to me.

The me that everyone else needs me to be.

And the real me, she sleeps quietly silently sadly.

She sleeps….



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