Here’s an old one. I used to write holiday poems for my friends and coworkers at a previous job. This was one of those poems:
Twas the night before Christmas, Over at my new house
Not a creature was stirring, And there better not be a mouse!
No stockings were hung. There’s no chimney there.
And I secretly hoped, St. Nick would appear.
The dust and the dirt, Still not cleaned away.
I could use Santa’s help, If he’d be willing to stay.
And I with my bleach,Trusty mop by my side.
Few lights in the house, Could use Rudolph as my guide.
Then in the garage, Was a terrible sound.
Tell me no more problems, In the house would be found.
So out back I flew with great might,
Threw open the door and ran into the night.
The moon light shining down all aglow,
Reinforced the poor slope of the land below.
And what to my red and tired eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and 10 Reindeer?
With a sweet little driver, much unlike St. Nick,
For he was a she, younger, and quick.
And the reindeer came too, one by one.
As the last one approached, it was clear what they’d done.
“Now Cara! Now Mike, Tracy, and Adam!
On Mary, On Luke, On Monika, and Ray!”
To the house they each went with Chris and Jim in toe,
Let’s help get this clean so we can then go!
They worked all in sync, with Sue at the helm.
Who knew the DBA talents went beyond Sybase’s realm.
So through the rooms and closets they flew,
Vacuum, dust, paint, let’s make it look new!
And when they were done, the house smelled so clean.
So back to the garage and sleigh was the scene.
They piled back in, tight fit for so many.
And smiled and waved, late bite at Denny’s?
Off to the diner, to eat just a bite.
Us DBAs can eat day and night.
But as morning approached we all hurried home,
They were all scared off by my mediocre poem.